Crab Jesus is proof that the internet is dead
Heaven is empty and all the Jesuses are heeeeeere!
The idea for this week’s newsletter came courtesy of my friend Kirk. I got some kind of coldy fluey thing last week which wrecked my posting schedule, so thanks Kirk!
Let’s dive right in:
Facebook has been a desolate hellhole for locals for some time now. It is too big to control; a writhing mass of extremism and Marketplace ads for shoes with holes in.
It’s also absolutely teeming with bots.
What do bots do?
They watch us. They imitate us.
So AI sees that the evangelical Christian boomers on Facebook love feats of human ingenuity, paired with religious iconography, and they repeat it.
And repeat it.
And repeat it.
And with each repetition it cannibalises itself, only feeding on what has been before.
And eventually, it spits out…
Crab Jesus.
🌟 Hundreds of thousands of accounts are commenting and liking on obviously AI-generated Jesus photos on Facebook and people think it’s proof that the internet is “dead”. 🌟
I’m personally choosing to call this phenomenon ‘Crab Jesus photos’, after my absolute favourite AI-generated Facebook photo:
Interesting developments in facebook Ai epidemic #fyp #facebook #zuckerberg #foryou #socialmedia #fb #internet - @SideMoneyTom
Have you ever heard of the dead internet theory? It suggests that the social internet - web 2.0 - is actually a ghost town run by bots, not real people. (It also suggests that some ‘other’ is manipulating the population by having control of these thousands of bots but I’m unsure that there really is One Single Big Bad Villain™ to whom we can attribute all of humanity’s evils. But it’d make good sci fi.)
We’re talking millions - possibly billions - of fake accounts, skewing social media conversations and people’s worldviews at the same time.
TikTok user @SideMoneyTom has been documenting the phenomenon more closely since March of this year. While it’s fun to watch him share Spaghetti Jesus, Kentucky Fried Jesus, and Egg Jesus, it’s clear that real humans are getting caught up in the mix. Youtuber Danny Gonzalez (6.5 million followers) has already leaned into the ‘make fun of boomers’ thing without much pause to question whether it’s really the boomers who are at fault.
If we really are on a dead internet, then real discussions are drowned out by the endless noise of automated accounts. When we can't tell real from fake, when social media become overrun by ghosts, we lose more than just authenticity. We risk losing our ability to critically engage with the world around us, to debate, to disagree, and to grow.
Anyway, I made this with my own hand 💗 Amen.